I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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