I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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