I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize