i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
