i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
