That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
