Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize