youre lurking in front of me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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