She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
