So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
