Don't make out with my wife yet
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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