Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.