This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
