Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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  (740): i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina http://tfl.nu/02ir
  Replies (35) Good night (702) Bad night (4652)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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  (586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2781) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We call that spaghetti Os

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  (207): I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it (617): We call that spaghetti Os http://tfl.nu/dgrn
  Replies (33) Good night (10317) Bad night (1012)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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  (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo
  Replies (56) Good night (8354) Bad night (936)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (6947) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.

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  (260): I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/s74r
  Replies (27) Good night (1516) Bad night (4082)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.

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  (270): I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles. http://tfl.nu/5ga0
  Replies (13) Good night (3183) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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  (225): all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices. http://tfl.nu/vgow
  Replies (31) Good night (7409) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.

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  (601): I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable. http://tfl.nu/2hky
  Replies (6) Good night (2228) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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  (703): You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick". http://tfl.nu/ootc
  Replies (6) Good night (2256) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You'll get a boner for sure

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey

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  (540): You'll get a boner for sure (703): Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey http://tfl.nu/k43v
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert

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  (302): It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert http://tfl.nu/8dr2
  Replies (12) Good night (496) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?

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  (217): I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty? http://tfl.nu/8wnt
  Replies (5) Good night (1316) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.

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  (503): Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it. http://tfl.nu/8pyf
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?

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  (703): Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask? http://tfl.nu/w6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (238) Bad night (129)

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