she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dating After Heartbreak
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".