my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...