dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dignity is for republicans.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street