bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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