Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?