I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...