Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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