took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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