We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
