fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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