She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
