Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
