Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
