Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
