i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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