Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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