2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
