so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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