Nicole vs. Life
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???