Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz

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(845): View more from New York

I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.

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(661): View more from California

He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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(613): View more from Ontario

come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I left it in that guy's dorm room.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were

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(817): View more from Texas

...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"

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