Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

  (425): View more from Washington

  There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

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  (206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole (425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian http://tfl.nu/pttl
  Replies (98) Good night (2486) Bad night (23926)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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  (860): isnt it creepy that our bodies make people http://tfl.nu/vg9u
  Replies (98) Good night (6006) Bad night (880)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17603) Bad night (2876)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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  (248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was http://tfl.nu/zwm2
  Replies (51) Good night (1065) Bad night (8902)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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  (610): It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/4je9
  Replies (9) Good night (3009) Bad night (788)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.

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  (217): I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list. http://tfl.nu/jt04
  Replies (6) Good night (3818) Bad night (812)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

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  (620): I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process. http://tfl.nu/qg86
  Replies (10) Good night (4679) Bad night (750)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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  (267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w
  Replies (14) Good night (4813) Bad night (1326)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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  (610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx
  Replies (5) Good night (2183) Bad night (680)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.

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  (419): i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go. http://tfl.nu/8sa8
  Replies (29) Good night (2446) Bad night (711)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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  (801): It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me. http://tfl.nu/14do
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (816)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover

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  (203): im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover http://tfl.nu/eh7g
  Replies (1) Good night (1517) Bad night (611)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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  (303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1232) Bad night (441)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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  (306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (421)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat

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  (716): I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat http://tfl.nu/8oko
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (229)

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