An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.