ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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