Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

(847): View more from Illinois

parking. I am not drunk

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(847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9

Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (570)
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(480): View more from Arizona

get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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(480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix

Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (3016)
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(347): View more from New York

You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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(347): You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid? http://tfl.nu/2je7

Replies (34) Good night (805) Bad night (5695)
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(519): View more from Ontario

i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v

Replies (27) Good night (8603) Bad night (1118)
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(303): View more from Colorado

those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.

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(303): those 9 inches of man changed my life forever. http://tfl.nu/b7ob

Replies (18) Good night (7750) Bad night (887)
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(619): View more from California

She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...

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(619): She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched... http://tfl.nu/qaun

Replies (14) Good night (1292) Bad night (3435)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

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(617): On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7 http://tfl.nu/lyiq

Replies (3) Good night (2635) Bad night (882)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(502): dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk. http://tfl.nu/y7ij

Replies (6) Good night (3143) Bad night (822)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack

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(217): I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack http://tfl.nu/dmpk

Replies (6) Good night (916) Bad night (2313)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?

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(814): How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed? http://tfl.nu/yb44

Replies (8) Good night (2627) Bad night (566)
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(806): View more from Texas

Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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(806): Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes. http://tfl.nu/kfeu

Replies (3) Good night (1374) Bad night (526)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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(901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr

Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (411)
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(713): View more from Texas

I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.

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(713): I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover. http://tfl.nu/74mv

Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (207)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

If you need anything just hit me up

(845): View more from New York

Pancakes

(201): View more from New Jersey

Noted.

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(201): If you need anything just hit me up (845): Pancakes (201): Noted. http://tfl.nu/a0ik

Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (226)
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(714): View more from California

HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again

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(714): HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again http://tfl.nu/hogt

Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (212)

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