Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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  (303): I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality http://tfl.nu/hof4
  Replies (6) Good night (846) Bad night (934)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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  (936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card? http://tfl.nu/bsy4
  Replies (78) Good night (5518) Bad night (933)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.

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  (443): That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face. http://tfl.nu/yqg0
  Replies (11) Good night (731) Bad night (2507)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
  Replies (49) Good night (630) Bad night (3408)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

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  (512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila. http://tfl.nu/7qws
  Replies (15) Good night (7811) Bad night (966)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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  (206): She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy. http://tfl.nu/ixzo
  Replies (35) Good night (793) Bad night (7111)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (6040) Bad night (850)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.

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  (229): please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room. http://tfl.nu/c4g1
  Replies (19) Good night (7442) Bad night (1075)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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  (915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg
  Replies (16) Good night (4032) Bad night (1548)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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  (204): We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party. http://tfl.nu/tsig
  Replies (3) Good night (2517) Bad night (612)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members

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  (217): this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members http://tfl.nu/t6b5
  Replies (9) Good night (545) Bad night (938)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

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  (647): I'm always drunk lately (647): Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears http://tfl.nu/384i
  Replies (3) Good night (1193) Bad night (423)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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  (785): You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/34h5
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (526)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds

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  (201): Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds http://tfl.nu/y5n0
  Replies (15) Good night (591) Bad night (1930)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Your topless pictures make me question reality

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  (815): Your topless pictures make me question reality http://tfl.nu/0lfq
  Replies (6) Good night (1009) Bad night (676)

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