so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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