There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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