Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she told me i tasted like america
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize