And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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