when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
