She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
