OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
