So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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