I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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