You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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