I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize