I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize