The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
