Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
