I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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