I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
