Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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