I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
