So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
