And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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