I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
