how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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