I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
