She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
