ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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