Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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