girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
These tits shall not be calmed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
