even my farts smell like vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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