I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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