Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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