Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
