Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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