just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize