Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
