Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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